BUSTLE: 8 Awkward Moments In Bed That Are Totally Common, According To Experts

Whether you're single or in a long-term committed relationship, you might experience uncomfortable moments during sex. Maybe you run into physical discomfort, like feeling pain with deep penetration. Or maybe you feel emotionally uncomfortable when your partner asks you to try something new with them. Either way, it's very common to experience discomfort during sex, according to experts.

"Sex is best when two people feel safe enough to truly communicate," Channa Bromley, a dating and relationship coach for Relationship Hero with specialization in sex and empowerment, tells Bustle. "It’s important to feel comfortable communicating with your partner," she says. When it comes to intimacy, though, it can sometimes be difficult to talk about uncomfortable moments in bed.

If you find yourself in a position where you're struggling to speak up, remember to take ownership of yourself. "Your body, your emotions, your rules," she says. "If something isn't working for you, know that it is perfectly acceptable to say something. It is a self-honoring choice to speak up. No one can invalidate how you feel other than yourself."

Another way to build confidence in your sex life with your partner is to practice building confidence in other areas of your life, Bromley says. Consider making new friends, picking up a difficult new hobby, or even learning a new language.

Here are some uncomfortable moments during sex that are actually very common, according to experts.

1. Asking For Something New In Bed

When many people hear “talk dirty to me” for the first time in a relationship, they can instantly begin to get anxious. Many folks can be uncomfortable with the idea of verbally sharing their desires or exploring their sexuality, Bromley says. If you or your partner has just brought up the subject of trying something that you never have before, it can feel uncomfortable because you risk feeling "weird" for what you want.

"If verbalizing your fantasies and your likes is something you would like to grow into, then ensure you are in a partnership with someone who you feel comfortable with," Bromley says. "If talking dirty is not something you aspire to try, then simply respond in a non-judgmental manner."

Say something like, "I understand how that could be something you want, but it really isn't something I am comfortable with right now."

2. Not Being Able To Climax

Whether you're having sex with a long-term partner or someone you just met, it's totally possible for one (or both) of you to not be able to reach a climax. Even though this can feel uncomfortable in the moment, it's very common and should not overshadow the rest of the experience. Bromley notes that "by focusing solely on one desired outcome, you miss the pleasure of the journey." In fact, the more you fixate on the sole goal of having an orgasm, the more nervous you're likely to get and the less likely it is for you to be able to have one, she says.

Understand that sex is not a performance, but an experience. "Release any pressure you feel towards reaching the orgasm, and simply be present," Bromley says. "You can offer your partner reassurance if you feel they are sensitive to their own performance."

3. Unexpected Noises

"It is not uncommon for gas to be released while [having sex]," Bromley says. But even if you've known your partner for a long time and feel very comfortable with them, it can be extremely embarrassing to fart (or to queef from your vagina) during sex. Just do your best not to catastrophize the situation.

"This can be embarrassing," Bromley says, "but it happens to everyone at some point. No one is going to be grossed out by it."

Instead, laugh it off or offer a simple, "Sorry about that" before continuing on with what you were doing before the interruption.