ITS JUST LUNCH: How To Let Them Down Easy

We’ve all been there… you’ve been on a few dates with someone and you’re just not feeling it! Someone can seem perfect on paper but the chemistry is flat lined. Sometimes the other person is crushing hard but you just don’t reciprocate the feeling and can’t foresee a future. What do you do? Here are a couple of Do’s and Don’ts:

Do keep it Simple…You do not need to apologize for not being into someone. It happens. There is no need to put them down or yourself. Chemistry is a crazy thing and no one can predict it. Humans are very complex and in such are looking for specific traits in a partner. It’s expected that not everyone is going to float your boat. Practice in advance what you want to say. Being unprepared can make things even more awkward. Be straightforward, gentle, speak slowly and use a soft tone.

Don’t Houdini… Ghosting (where someone ends a relationship by simply disappearing) on someone only prolongs the inevitable. It can take awhile for someone to get the hint, and in the meantime you’re going to be dodging phone calls and perhaps even avoiding places where they might be. I’m a strong believer in not burning bridges, you never know how or when you will meet the right someone, it could even be a friend of the person you’re trying to ditch, so be cool and be honest.

Do Be respectful… Being rejected can bring up very real feelings and often old wounds. We all react differently to rejection, predict what their reaction may be and be prepared. You have the opportunity to support this person. Affirm their positive characteristics but be clear that you simply don’t see it progressing any further in a romantic fashion.

Don’t Sabotage… If you know how you feel and are afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, don’t be a horrible person in the hopes that they will dump you. This is a chance to ‘grow-up’ a little bit! Will it be tough? Sure – but you will be far more appreciated for being honest than creating drama and discord.